accepting the uncomfortable

As I sit on the sidelines and watch my youngest son Finley’s baseball practice, I notice a rather tense conversation unfold between my son and his coach. Finn has been having a tough time in the sport due to some incorrect fundamental habits, and his coach, doing what coaches do, is practicing tough love to help Finn try and break them.

For the remainder of practice, Finn completely shut down. He was frustrated because he couldn’t change his habits right away, angry because he was scolded, and most of all, he was uncomfortable. We have all experienced tough love or tough coaching and realize that it can be difficult to respond in a positive manner, especially if we aren’t comfortable in the position. I comforted him while he expressed his frustration, I and told him that he needs to be okay with being uncomfortable.  The only way he is going to break those habits is if he pushes through the practices, the scoldings, and the times he feels uneasy. 

At the end of the day, I realized this wouldn’t be the first time Finn would learn this lesson. There are so many times in life when we feel uncomfortable, especially when we are trying to make a change in our lives. This is because as humans, we instinctively resist the feeling of vulnerability. 

Have you ever tried to meditate? If you haven’t, try it now. Sit in a quiet space, dim the lights, close your eyes, and focus on your breathing for five minutes. This sounds like an easy task, but
in reality, meditation is one of the hardest things an individual can practice. Meditation or
mindfulness literally means noticing and accepting the state of being uncomfortable. If you think
about it, meditation is the complete opposite of what we are expected to do in this modern age.
If we aren’t “doing” anything, we are considered lazy. If we aren’t constantly “working” towards a
goal, we might as well give up. So, of course, the act of doing nothing during meditation makes
us (myself included) uneasy. However, some might say that striving to be uncomfortable is the
key to success. For example, after meditating for just one month, the brain can physically
change! Forbes Magazine states that by accepting and encouraging being uncomfortable
through meditation, “Our brain changes the grey matter volume to reduced activity in the “me”
centers of the brain to enhanced connectivity between brain regions.” This change leads to an
overall increase in psychological well-being. 

Therefore, it is proven that if you want to make a change in your life, whether big or small, you
are going to experience an uncomfortable state at some point in the process. If you are
uncomfortable, you are doing something right. 

If you look at any distinctly successful person, you will see this rings true. Muhammad Ali once
spoke about this. He stated, “I hated every minute of training, but I said, don’t quit. Suffer
now and live the rest of your life a champion.” 

I experienced this feeling recently while making the transition from a trainer at Gold’s Gym to an
independent trainer at Train Anytime. I was very comfortable at Gold’s. My client list was
large, and I had constant access to members of the gym who could potentially become
new clients. I had a steady schedule. I worked hard, yet it was nice and comfortable.

However, I always wanted to create something of my own. Be my own boss. This is why
I made the uncomfortable decision to step into the unknown and start my own business.
I had a lot to overcome. At Train Anytime, I was in an environment with very few women
trainers. I had to build up my client base again. I had to create a website! So many
things were foreign to me. I was uncomfortable with the whole transition. Yet, I knew that
feeling vulnerable meant I was participating in something worth doing. Looking back
after a year and a half in a new spot with an independent business, I am so thankful I
took the risk of jumping out of my comfort zone. 

If you want to practice becoming “comfortable with being uncomfortable” try one of these
suggestions. They are great examples of how to fearlessly practice temporary moments of
vulnerability. 

• Exercise: If you are unfamiliar with exercise and want to become stronger or healthier,

start by doing something exercise-related for only 20-30 minutes. It doesn’t matter
what exercise it is as long as it makes you uncomfortable (and is still safe). 

• Meditate: This is the best way to accept the feeling of uneasiness. Here is a great guided

meditation for beginners

Guided Meditation

• Talk to someone new: If this is too scary, try calling up one of your old friends to start. It

is easy and comfortable for us to shoot someone a quick text. So why not call
someone and talk instead? This is a great practice of striving to become
uncomfortable. If you want to take it a step further, introduce yourself to someone new
during an exercise class or social function!

Since we now know the result of vulnerability, we should all strive to be uncomfortable! We
know that whether we are trying out a new exercise program, changing up our eating habits, or
getting a new job, our instinct will be to resist. If we expect it to happen, we can practice
mindfulness, accept the feeling, and keep striving towards the goals that are out of our comfort
zone.

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